Wednesday, November 27, 2013

“I don’t know how you do it…"

Post from our sister-in-law Donna

I’ve often wondered this when thinking about what Carley has had to face. I’ve heard about the trips to the hospital and the endless appointments which have rarely been positive. I see what she goes through when we’re together; being the mother of 2 young boys can be a challenge on a good day! But I can only imagine all that she has to endure on a daily basis.

The following is an excerpt from a blog written by Patrice Kelly who can speak to this first hand, like so many other heartbroken parents. I work with Patrice’s sister, Michelle.  Patrice lost her daughter, 5 year old Charlotte, to neuroblastoma in 2011. Charlotte fought from the time she was diagnosed at age 2 1/2, until the very end. She was a warrior, just like Daniel.

“I don’t know how you do it is a phrase I often hear. It is a phrase I would say to someone who had a tragedy in his or her life. It is a phrase I would say when Charlotte was in treatment, and my new found cancer friends children died. It is not wrong or right to say it. It is a normal statement. In fact, it is a phrase I often ask myself. When people say it to me, I usually say “I don’t know how I do it either, but I am doing it”……“Doing it” is something I, and all of the other parents who have lost children, literally do not have a choice to do. We have to go on, carry on, live, eat, sleep, breath, function, and suffer. To “do it” is all we can do. Unless we give up. Which most of us will not. “Doing it” consists of faking it, screaming inside, feeling constantly alone (no matter how many people are around), pushing out disturbing memories, swallowing tears, and fighting the “cancer” demons that creep into our existence. “Doing it” is trying to fit back into your past life, which will never be the same or “ok”. “

Carley- We will help you “do it” in any way we can. And Daniel, we will never give up!

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